There's a Beginning to everything

     My new beginning began last year.  I found myself starting fresh.  Starting anew.  The only problem was that it wasn't the new start I wanted.  Trying to find a job was impossible in the economy.  Being fresh out of college, I looked for jobs all summer long.  There was no luck.  There was one job that I know I had in the bag, but I was rejected.  I guess that's what I get for being cocky about the whole situation.
     I continued to pray.  Finally, a friend called and helped me get a job.  It wasn't where I wanted to be by a long shot.  But I had a job!  A stable, steady paying job.  My hopes were high going into my newly acquired position.  Many ideas flooded my head about how I was going to make a difference.  I was so excited and my hopes were very high.  Soon after I got my feet wet, I realized that those intentions were a lot easier said than done.
    Soon I became very discouraged.  Hating my job became my top emotion.  Hating who I worked with filled my mind.  Not everything was bad, but I was just unhappy.  Not only was I unhappy in my job, I was unhappy in life in general.  I had to call off a relationship with a really nice guy, moved away from my family, left all my friends hundred of miles away, and I came here to a desolate wasteland for meeting people my age.  The only people who live here are settled down married couples, older married couples, and widows and widowers.
     I would come home every day and cry.  That's all I could do.  I tried to go to church and find comfort in knowing that God had a plan for me, but it didn't always work.  I longed for compassion from another human being so badly that I made myself sick.  I just hated everything.
     When Christmas rolled around I didn't want to have anything to do with it.  I went home, met up with family, exchanged gifts, and that was it.  I just went through the motions.  I couldn't wait for Christmas to be over.  It made me sick to think of every one being so happy.  When the new year rolled around I still hadn't felt much better.  Then one day I woke up out of a deep sleep and I told myself "Get over yourself and grow up!"  It was just a day that I needed long before but I wasn't willing to accept it.
     After that day I had such a better outlook about my job.  I stayed positive.  I tried to get myself involved in church as much as possible weather it was here where I now live or when I would go home to spend time with family.  It took me a while to realize that God had blessed me with a lot of good things in my life.  I was just letting myself get in the way.  It was hard to realize that there were others who were having it harder than I was because of my own selfishness.
     The reason why I have labeled my blog "Spinning Lap Around The Sun" is because that's what we are doing.  Every year that passes is just one more lap for us.  We only get so many rides around that big star in the sky that sustains our life here on this fragile planet called earth.  Not to mention it's a title from one of my favorite artists!  But not every day has been easy.  And still on some days I do get sad.  But I know where my strength lies.  It lies in God who is my strength.  If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here today.  He has given me all of my new beginnings.
     Overall I am thankful for all of the blessings and opportunities I have had in my life.  I want to make my adventures around the sun to be meaningful.  I want to love some one, give to the world, be an example, shine for Jesus, make things, have children, be a good friend........but over all......I just want to live!  So until the next blog, happy writing and living.  This is life as i know it.  Or at least i think....